A Day for Small Notes

A message from a good friend:

hi pres! i hope you always keep that smile in your beautiful face and kind heart. keep it up my dear.

In continuation of my last post, here aretext messages regarding my application:

• Cousin, dumaan bos ni digs dto. Malaki chances mo. Sabi ok daw yung babae na taga dlsu. Pero may gusto iba yung vp. D magaling. Ayaw ng panel. Galingan mo next wk.ü
• Ntapos pa lng i-chk parts 1 & 2 nung exam. Mganda, ksi nkita ko highest ka. D pa nga lng kasama stories na pnasulat sa inyo. 3 aplicants daw 2 com tom.
• Mukhng type ka nung 2 evaluatr di2. Pero syempre quiet ako para d halata. Le’ts pray stil.

Postscripts to my last post:

In my growing up years, I only ever saw my dad’s relatives during the summer mostly because we live so far apart. With some of my cousins who are in the same age group as I am, I can be my natural self. I mean, I don’t have to walk on eggs and be extra nice because we all ran after each other in the gardens together, bathe in the “kubota” (rice field irrigation source), slept on swings or the house “silong.”

As I wanted to check if sickness was in my parents’ genes specifically my father, I informed one of my cousins. It was also my introduction in telling them gently to take good care of themselves without unduly alarming them. Needless to say, she told our relatives about my health. Last night, two of my dad’s sisters called me up asking how I am. They are genuinely concerned. They reassured me several times that I am always included in their prayers.

Thinking Out Loud

Some of my friends say that I always see the silver lining in most situations. In my point of view, as the cliché goes, it’s all a matter of perspective. The glass is either half-empty or half-full. Personally, it’s a matter of choice. I choose to magnify the good things in life while resolving the small issues. For example, I know my brain is not working at optimum level, yet I cannot complain because I comprehend lessons in Master’s classes well and I still have a sunny disposition. It actually takes little to make me happy.

My cousin told me about a job opening in a top-earning government office. The first time I knew about it earlier this year, I immediately submitted my credentials. Needless to say, I wasn’t able to get in the first time. An office insider told me that I was actually considered till the very last step but the office chose the internal applicant. I just shrugged it off because I still like working in my present office.

For some reason, the person chosen for the said position declined the job offer. As a result, the office once again posted the job opening. Again, I applied for it by submitting the same set of credentials but this time, I did it half-heartedly only. Mainly because I heard that it was a position co-terminus with the head of the agency. If course I want a permanent position with plantilla. However, this time, I was invited to take the written examination and job interview.

The written exam was divided into five parts, spelling, plural form of nouns, formulating the slogan from a short paragraph, formulating an advertising copy from a technical article, and business report writing. I suddenly remembered why I resigned from business report writing. It takes too much comprehension and analytical skills that at the end of the day, I am physically exhausted that my head literally aches.

During the exam, the office big boss acted like a hostess who felt that we needed to be entertained WHILE taking the exam. She told us some office concerns and surprisingly, she even informed us that her senior staff members conducted the interviews and she just approved of their recommendations.

The following day, the same office insider who informed me of the job opening again told me that I was being considered seriously for the position by the senior staff members who would conduct the interviews. However, their big boss has another preference.

Considering the perks of the position, I am actually thinking seriously about getting in that office. I originally applied for the job because I didn’t want my cousin to think I was ungrateful she informed me of the opening. Now that I know the perks offered by the position, I really want to get that job. I need the financial security it will offer because I have to earn well while I can considering my health.

I’ll just follow what another cliché goes, “Do your best and God will do the rest.”

Going Through the Classic Student Stages

To say that I had a hectic week is surely an understatement! We had to present our group project as a class requirement. All of us 3 group mates are working so we went through all the classic stages, i.e., the never ending conflicts in schedule, the group mate who needs the adrenaline rush brought on by last SECOND revisions, the personality clashes, you name it, we went through it.

Good camaraderie really works wonders for me. As I an very comfortable with all of my classmates, I was worried not because I had to present in class but because I felt that our product needs to be thought out and developed further. As they say, “All’s well that ends well.”

I’m going through another classic stage. After that one demanding subject, I am relaxing though I still have an equally demanding subject with a deadline next week. I just miss clicking the TV remote control for 30 minutes nonstop looking for a program I’ll be interested, in sleeping in my bed for at least 7 hours, basically just being carefree.

Still, after all that’s said and done, the masochist in me screams that I have accomplished something, the hard work was worth it and I wouldn’t mind going through it all over again.

Things I Never Knew I Never Knew

My officemate who is taking up MS Info Tech asked the activities we do in MA classes. I told him that in fulfillment of my class requirements, I got to interview a great writer (Pablo S. Gomez), I attended the Urian Awards night, I watched 3 movies and read a great book, among others. As I was recounting these things to him, I was smiling from ear to ear.

He asked me if we didn’t have writing requirements at all. I told him that on the average, we read 150-200 pages a week in order to write a 2-page double-spaced reaction paper in 12 points Times New Roman. I told him that we were also asked to read a whole book in a week’s time and write a review about it. I told him I seldom go out with my friends because I simply don’t have the time.

With his eyebrows joining in a frown, he said he couldn’t understand why he senses genuine joy when I recounted the class activities. That it because, in all honesty, I really enjoy what I’m doing. All my habits are “legitimized” by school requirements, e.g., watching movies and reading books. Getting decent grades for it is just the icing on the cake.

I really like the knowledge I gain in the classes. I love learning about the interplay of communication, culture and technology, looking at technology through sociologists’ eyes, the events in history that shape mass media particularly movie themes, among others. I also like critiquing published books. It makes me feel that I am learning to question printed materials, that had I read at the start of the year, would have accepted as unquestionable facts. My opinions are suddenly validated by my professor, my classmates who are from related but different fields too.

This is my first trimester in Master’s class. I’m 2 weeks away from finishing 2 subjects. With the little knowledge I have gained so far, I honestly feel that I have learned a lot and there are a lot more interesting topics that I will get to know. I’m truly excited to know more things I never knew I never knew.

Reality Bites & Coming Clean

I attended the 2006 Urian Awards last Thursday. My prof gave us admission tickets. I sat behind Eddie Garcia (Urian Lifetime Achievement Awardee) and in front of Robin Padilla (Best Actor) who was with Regine Velasquez that night.

Moving on to Friday... This was one day which had its fair share of ups and downs. I was on leave from the office because of my scheduled neuroscan exam in the afternoon. As instructed, I didn’t take my medicine. I was there in the hospital on time but my neurologist was an hour late which actually turned out to be a blessing.

The test itself took around 20 minutes. My limp returned but not as worse as before the healing mass. After that, he confirmed his initial diagnosis. I have a rare disease that they don’t know much about yet. Needless to say, this brought me down. I was disappointed. The sickness is so rare he got my blood sample, took a video of my movements and made me sign a waiver that said I have no claim whatsoever to the results of the exam. He’ll use it for further research on the disease. He also asked if I could get my cousin to give her blood sample too because she has a related disease.

I mentioned that his lateness was a blessing mainly because I had to rush to the campus to attend the 5:30 pm mass. This gave me no time to think and dwell on his prognosis. I was still late for the mass. After that was the scheduled SFC-CLP. While waiting for it to start, I read my notes for class the next day. I was lined up by my officemate to share the miracle of the healing mass I attended. Due to my disappointment, I begged off. She understood my situation.

I have a new good friend, thanks to the CLP. She’s a professor. We actually hit it off from the first session till now. Since I was surrounded by people and I was listening to the sharing in the CLP, I postponed thinking about my health. I even told all the people present there to watch the Urian that will be aired that night.

When I got home, I watched the Urian on TV. Thoughts about the diagnosis entered my mind but I was successful in putting it off till after the program. Then I had no reason to postpone thinking about it any longer. I honestly can’t remember the thoughts which entered my mind then but I can recall the acute sadness I felt that night.

Before I went to sleep, the miraculous things which happened to me the past few days dawned on me:
1. I was able to attend the healing mass and walked as normal as I can for 3 days.
2. I was able to consult with the country's top movement disorder specialist.
3. All my medical-related expenses were cut dramatically.
4. I heard all the right encouragements to get me through this series of events with a positive outlook.

I slept feeling a bit better. I thought, maybe, I have this sickness so I may contribute to further study about it. Call it philosophizing but I felt I was serving a higher purpose. I got to sleep feeling a bit better.

COMING CLEAN

Today is Monday. I told 4 more people about my sickness. This is a real record-breaker for me. I usually keep these kinds of matters to myself. I don’t even answer direct questions about my limp. Talking about it over and over again throughout the day served as my catharsis. After the last person I told, I was so fed up with my medical history I just wanted to just get on with my life as usual.

An Angel Wrapped in a Different Package

It seems that angels just keep on making their presence felt most especially in this trying time of my life.

My present neurologist told me that the test he would like to make me go through costs a considerable amount. It popped into my mind that I could course it through the health care provider. The thing is, I had to go back to the first neurologist I consulted. He wasn’t really bad. He just didn’t like explaining things which were happening to me. In short, he was a snob.

As expected, the first thing he asked me was why I never returned to him when he specifically told me to consult with him monthly. I decided to come clean at once. I told him I sought 2nd and 3rd opinions and that they had similar diagnosis. He didn’t miss the chance to point it out to me. Good thing I was in a light mood and just grinned and bore.

He told me that the health care provider might not be able to finance the exam I should go through because it was too expensive. He gave me a recommendation anyway. Guess what? My payable was reduced to a mere 13% of the total amount. In short, my snob neurologist turned out to be ANGEL NUMBER 1 of the day.

I went to my neurologist during office hours. I told my supervisor all my health concerns. He was very supportive. He allowed me to go. I planned to be out for 4 hours at most. However, because of the long lines, I was able to go back to the office after 5 hours. Because I felt that I reported for less than the 4 hours required for my attendance to be considered half-day at least, I just filed for an unscheduled vacation leave for the day. My supervisor told me that we should consult it with our office director. They were both very understanding, ANGELS NUMBER 2 and 3. Don’t get me wrong, these 2 people are angels in all aspects.

Life is always good. God is always good. Blessings are everywhere. We just need to be receptive to the blessings that come our way. Just because we don’t like the packaging, doesn’t mean it will not work itself out for the best.

Me and My Angels

When it rains it pours. Sure, I have my own share of problems nowadays but God made it up to me yesterday by giving me blessings even before I asked for them. Since all the friends I have now have passed my criteria for friendship, they were elevated a notch higher yesterday. Hence, they were transformed as my personal angels.

ANGEL NUMBER 1is literally an angel. She is barely three months old. Her parents were worried about her because she had seizures a few days ago. This baby angel’s grandma heard in a mass that a priest would officiate a healing mass the following day. This baby’s aunt, my officemate, remembered me and called me up at once.

Hence, ANGEL NUMBER 2 is my officemate. My officemate reminded me that since it would be a healing mass, the only thing I can hold on to, should I attend it, is my strong faith.. I attended it, partially because I thought that my sickness has no cure and faith is all I can hold on to.

ANGEL NUMBER 3 is a Filipino priest. He is known the world over as an instrument of Christ through his healing masses. He emphasized over and over again that it is the faith of the people that heals them and he is just a vessel.

Many miracles were performed through him on that day. Believe me when I say that more than 10 people who got around with assistance and in wheelchairs were able to walk unaided after the priest touched them. Just witnessing those were enough to make anybody feel God’s warm and loving presence.

Though the crowd gathered around him, I was able to tell him about my limp and he simply told me, it would go away. Lo and behold! My walk improved significantly immediately after. My limp was almost gone as I was on my way home. I was even bold enough to skip my scheduled medicine intake.

I was scheduled to consult a different neurologist that day. As I assessed I was completely healed, I cancelled my appointment with him. I told ANGEL NUMBER 4, another friend, about everything. She wisely told me to go to my doctor’s appointment. Thank God, I followed her advice. However, I should back out a little, before I continue with this story.

At the beginning, when no doctors who could identify my sickness, I searched for a Filipino neurologist and I saw one US-based who has cured disorders like mine. I e-mailed him and told him about my limp. He replied after more than a month and told me that he would come to the Philippines. He also informed me that I might like to attend a support group session with members composing of people like me. (I later found out that he was the founder of the support group meeting I attended.)

So I attended the session and set up a consultation schedule with ANGEL NUMBER 5, my neurologist. The appointment was set on the afternoon of the healing mass. This neurologist advocated the Robin Hood mentality though with a modern twist. He determines his consultation fee according to the financial capacity of the patient. He was very thorough in his tests. All in all, the way he performed his tests and the way he talked about the support group, I felt that he was genuinely happy in helping the people who come to him and he is deeply concerned with all the people he was attending to.

When I went home, I called up my closest friends, my FLOCK OF ANGELS, to tell them the best news about me in a long time. I was surprised to find out that they were all praying hard for my well-being. They prayed for me silently because they didn’t want me to worry much about my condition. Needless to say, my heart was revitalized. I cannot recall the number of times I cried on July 31, 2006. It was a truly magically blessed day.